Happiness in Tiny Packages
By Christine Traxler MD
It�s difficult to think of happiness without pondering when a person was the happiest in their lives. When I did that thinking, it was so easy to recall the two events that have made me the happiest in my life. The first is most definitely the birth of my older daughter, Kat, and the other is the birth of my younger daughter, Sarah. Time has passed since they were born and I haven�t forgotten the moments of their births. My older daughter is 25 years-old and my younger daughter is 14 years-old and yet I glow with joy whenever I think of those times in my life.
I was somewhat young when I had my first daughter and I must admit, I couldn�t conceive of the pain involved in labor. And yet, when they put her on my stomach at the time of her birth, any thought of pain dissipated and I was filled with immense joy and happiness instead. This was my baby�my little girl I had waited so long to have. They took her away and washed her up but brought her back to me while I waited in the recovery area. She was in a bassinet and I couldn�t hold her but I could reach down and touch her hair and her tiny ears. She was beautiful and I couldn�t imagine a more peaceful and contented moment.
There was no diminishment of my extreme happiness at having my second daughter almost twelve years later. I had an easier labor but there were still times when I definitely didn�t want to be there during the most painful times. This time, too, the pain disappeared from my memory as soon as I heard my daughter�s first cries. This time they bundled her up and gave her to me shortly after she was born. I remember playing with her dark hair and finally locking eyes with her as she squinted her eyes up toward mine. It was heaven and she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Even though she was born in the evening, I couldn�t sleep after her birth. I just laid in the bed all night, holding my bundled-up angel and feeling the joy and happiness surrounding her arrival.
I was given the greatest gift by becoming a doctor who delivered many babies over the years. While I worked to bring new life into the world, I always got caught up in the moment of it. It took several years to build up the strength not to cry at every delivery I did. The joy and exhilaration in the delivery room and the faces of the happy parents drew me in and I always cried right along with the joyful family. Even after I had trained myself not to cry at deliveries, I still slipped every once in a while and let the tears of joy flow during the happy moment. At night, when the parents were asleep and the nurses were busy in the nursery, I volunteered to sit and just hold or rock an irritable baby. What a blissful time that was and I was always reminded of the joy I felt in holding my own children for the first time.
My children still give me joy and happiness. When my younger daughter snuggles next to me at night because she can�t sleep, I smile, thinking that one day she�ll grow up and I�ll just have these moments to treasure. When my older daughter gives me a special Mother�s Day gift or succeeds in her job, I�m reminded of the special nature of the parent-child relationship. I have hundreds of memories over the years that gave me pride and a sense of peacefulness in something my children had done or something cute they said. I hope to build more memories like that in the faces of grandchildren some day. The blessings of grandchildren are, in some ways, more special because my relationship with them will be unique and special, as grandparent/grandchildren relationships often are.
And so, my life with my babies goes full circle. My babies will have babies and they will come to know the complete exhilaration of bringing a new life into the world. And I, in my older age, will be able to enjoy that experience with them, hold in my arms a very special new person in my life and watch him or her grow up, sharing in the joys and excitement that the growth of a child entails.
Christine Traxler MD
About the author:
Dr. Christine Traxler was a family practice physician in rural Minnesota before turning to medical writing and editing. She currently lives and works in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and has two daughters.
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