Three Cornerstones of Happiness
By Robert Britt
There are many ways to define happiness or for individuals to decide what makes them happy. I feel that is all comes down to three things. First is self love. Second is having a purpose in life that resonates with your inner feelings, and third is having supportive loving people around you. Does any of this ring a bell with you? Do you know what I am saying here?
Self love is not a selfish thing, nor is it a prideful thing. To have self love as I see it, you need to have an acceptance of who you are and the ability to define yourself without thought to pleasing other people. How many people are �a certain way� not because they want to be, but because it is expected of them by their family or peers? People get cornered into thinking they must be religious or work in a certain field or one of a number of different things when deep down, that isn�t who they really are.
To have self love you must be able to look at yourself and say, �yes!� I am not talking about being totally satisfied with your looks or appearance, although a certain amount of acceptance is definitely needed. You need to be able to look yourself in the eye and be happy with the choices you are making now in your life. Don�t be hung up on anything you have done in the past. That is the past. It does not define where you are now or where you are going in the future unless you let it. You have to live in the present and be happy with choices now. Live in integrity and honesty. Do good things in your life, not because someone will notice, or you will get an �afterlife reward�. Do good things because you know they are the right things to do. Form an opinion of yourself based on the good things you have done, the accomplishments you are proud of and the behavior you exhibit. These are the keys to self-esteem, and when you have a positive self-image and good self-esteem, you will be in a place of self love.
Do you have a purpose in life? I don�t mean do you have a job or do you have things that you do to support other people, although those things may be part of your purpose if you so choose. Everyone needs to have purpose in their lives which define who they are and what they stand for. My purpose is to help people live their lives and pursue their dreams. Part of what I do is getting people to a place where they believe in themselves and have self love and then they can reach deep inside themselves to find their special purpose in life. When I help someone in that way, I get a deep feeling of happiness which I carry with me for days.
Think about your purpose. Is there a dream you had that you gave up because someone told you to wake up and smell the coffee? Can you find that dream again? Granted, if your dream was to be a star athlete and you just don�t have the speed or agility, maybe the starring role may be beyond you, but maybe your true calling is to coach or train people and that will give you the connection to the sport you love. There are many roles that need to be filled, so maybe your role is in your dream arena, just not in the exact capacity you imagined. I am a writer and never imagined ghostwriting or helping people with writing needs. I always thought about the secluded writer pounding away on their keyboard producing a masterpiece, but helping others write their stories fills two needs of mine; helping people and writing.
The third thing is having support and love around you. If you don�t have support, you need to redefine your situation. You become most like the five people you associate with. Who are those people and do they inspire you? Have you ever looked around and thought, �What am I doing here?� If you don�t feel motivated, loved and inspired, it is very likely you will not be able to reach your dreams. I know people will say, but I can�t change these people, they are my friends, my family, my co-workers, and I say yes you can. True you can�t just leave them, but you can choose to find positive role models and new friends, and let the others be minor parts of your life, or you can help people in your life grow. Sometimes when you finally discover what is really important to you, you will influence those around you to reach for their potential. You can become the light at the end of the tunnel or the role model.
Happiness is what you decide it is. It is different for every person, but the commonalities of self love, sense of purpose and loving support are common to them all. Pursue your dreams, set lofty goals and seek your bliss. Happiness is there for you, reach for it!
Robert Britt
About the author:
Robert Britt is married and a father of four. He is a published author and has a degree in Psychology from Albright College . Robert is a recognized expert in the field of self-esteem and confidence building. He is a full time professional writer and speaker.
Visit RobertBritt.com for more information .